Forever Buried in Mind
by LovingYourWork
Summary: Sequel to 'Storm on the Horizon'. Six months have passed since Greg's horrific ordeal, he's moving on and making good progress, but a tragic turn of events causes him to retreat into a backward spiral. Can he ever truly bury his demons once and for all?
1. Memories that haunt us

6 months ago, Greg was kidnapped and left for dead. Now just as he's beginning to get his life back together is it destined to fall apart all over again?

It felt like he had waited his entire life for this moment and now that it was here, he wanted to savour it forever. He drank in her appearance stood before him. God, she really was beautiful, her glossy brown hair hung loosely off her shoulders, her almond eyes sparkled happily. His eyes roamed down the rest of her body, even dressed in simple jeans, tight T-Shirt and heeled boots; she was the most stunning woman he had ever met.

He reached up to move a stray strand of brown hair from her eyes, her hand caressed his cheek tenderly. Both only had eyes for each other, outside the night time world of Las Vegas was in full swing but nothing could break this young couple apart, entwined in each other's arms.

The man felt his pulse quicken that little bit more as she leaned in closer to him, this was the moment, he closed his eyes in anticipation, her lips met his hungrily. The first thing he noticed was how deliciously soft they were, his hands went to the back of her neck as he pulled her in closer to him, deepening the kiss with more passion, more urgency. Her hands wandered to the front of his shirt as they fell down onto the sofa together. She worked quickly unpopping the buttons and the shirt fell away to the floor. Her hands roamed his toned muscular chest and he gave a little moan of pleasure as she bit down on his lip.

He wanted her, wanted her so badly it hurt, she pulled back slightly as their passion increased, allowing him the room to pull her T Shirt up over her head. She sank back down into his warm embrace, kissing passionately now. Her skin was so soft to touch as she melted into his arms, the sweet scent of her perfume was overpowering. He closed his eyes again in absolute bliss. She kissed his forehead, his nose, his lips before leaving a butterfly trail of soft kisses beginning with the nape of his neck, going down his throat, his chest, teasing, licking, sucking every bit of flesh in sight. He moaned contentedly once more, wanting more. Her hand closed on the zipper of his jeans, which she began to ease down. The man froze, his eyes flew open. He forcefully pushed her hand away and sat up immediately.

"I'm sorry I can't do this" he said, hastily redressing

"Greg..." Hurt and confusion swam in her eyes

"I'm sorry" He repeated "you don't understand"

"It's OK…"

"No! It's not" He shouted, hot tears stung the back of his eyes "Damnit! It's not ok! You'll never understand I'm so sorry". Without another word, he snatched up his jacket and things and fled the apartment out into the rain soaked alleyway.

Greg Sanders slumped against the wall, tears falling down his face, it had been six months, he thought he had finally gotten over it but that just proved when it came down to it, he would never be free of his memory.

His tears flowed bitterly, he was so disappointed, he had wanted to be with her so badly but he had messed up big style. She probably thought he was such a freak.

_Way to go Sanders!_ he thought miserably. He shivered involuntarily against the cold rain, and realised he was still bare chested, with horror he realised in his haste to get away he had forgotten his shirt. He mentally kicked himself for his stupidity, he couldn't bear to face her again, the look on her face had been heartbreaking enough. He pulled his jacket tightly around him and walked out into the busy street, he hailed a cab and was relieved when it pulled up just a few feet away from him. Without a backward glance, he leapt into the backseat.

The driver caught his reflection in the mirror "Hot date was it" he smirked. Greg's cheeks flushed as he remembered the love bites oh so visible on his neck, not to mention the lipstick marks on his face and ears where she had kissed him. Embarrassed, he scrubbed at his face and pulled up the collar of his jacket.

"Something like that" he mumbled

The driver, sensing his passenger was not in a talkative mood left it at that. Without uttering another word the whole ride home, Greg paid the fare and made a dash for his front door. All he wanted to do was get to his bed and forget about his humiliating evening. He was about to sidestep the mountain of bills that had inevitably flooded his mail box when one envelope caught his attention.

Prison stamp. His stomach turned to ice and with shaking hands, turned the envelope over in his hand, his mind reeling. _Why now? _Was all he could think _Why did those memories have to be dredged up now_. He tore into the envelope, knowing what it would say. He scanned it anxiously "James Alan Robins" "Requests your presence on 16th February between 4 and 6 pm" "Ahead of scheduled execution on Saturday"

The words swam before him on the page, leaping out at him. Should he go? His mind was in turmoil, tonight confirmed as much, that the events of that fateful night were still firmly imprinted in his memory. _"Never forget" _that's what he had said. It was true, no matter how hard he tried to erase it he couldn't escape his memory. Not even through those expensive counselling sessions that Grissom had insisted on him attending, had succeeded in clearing his mind of his nightmare.

Now Robins wanted to stir these memories again? He stared again at the letter, there in black and white were the words he didn't want to see. Angrily, he tossed the letter on the floor. Why would he want to see the man that had caused so much pain? No, he couldn't go, he wouldn't go he wanted to forget about it all, not reignite painful memories. Tonight had already done as much, he winced as he thought about it all. The night had started so well, he had being a complete gent about everything, done it properly, asked her out on a date, booked a table at a posh restaurant, wined and dined her, paid the bill and then she had taken the initiative, inviting him back to her place. It was all he ever wanted and more and he had blown it big time, he didn't know if he could bear to face her again but it was inevitable that he would have to. He let out a frustrated sigh as he sat down on his bed. He had been doing so well! Until tonight, he thought he had succeeded in trying to move on but then, this? this double whammy? Not being able to make love to a beautiful woman was hard enough but then to come home and find _that_ on his doorstep? The Gods were conspiring against him once more, did they not want him to be happy? He pulled the covers around him, wanting them to swallow him up, he eventually managed to fall into a restless slumber.


	2. First steps

The next morning, Greg rose early, still in a bad mood, the letter was still there on the floor where he tossed it, he chose to ignore it. Instead, Greg sighed and went through to his kitchen and made a cup of coffee, emotions he thought he had buried swirling around angrily in his head. Was it a sign? A sign that no matter how many counselling sessions he had, how many comforting words spoken by his friends that this horrible trauma would forever be buried in his mind? Six months on and he had thought he was making progress, he had even managed to return to work without wanting to throw up the minute he saw his lab. He sipped his coffee absent-mindedly, remembering that first day back at work.

_Flashback_

_After a couple of months of endless days filled with rehabilitation and counselling, desperately trying to erase all memory of those horrific days, Greg had convinced himself and Grissom that he was ready, he was ready to get back to work. Greg dressed as casually as he could, in his usual kooky lab attire, like nothing had changed but catching sight of those scars that would never heal in the mirror defied that belief. He ran his finger down the small jagged scar along his cheekbone, there was no covering that up but at least those bigger scars were well covered below his shirt. He took one final look in the mirror, feeling more self conscious than he had ever felt before. He took a deep breath and went to join Nick Stokes who was giving him a ride. _

_Nick smiled as he climbed in. "How you feeling Greggo?"_

"_Great" Greg smiled back, his voice belying more enthusiasm than he felt._

"_Yeah? You ready for this?"_

"_Definitely, bring it on" Greg replied._

"_Alright" Nick said easing the car into gear. They chatted amiably on the short journey but as they got closer to the lab, it was clear Greg's bravado was waning considerably. His cheeks flushed and his palms sweated, rubbing them continously on his trousers. As Nick eased into the parking lot, he sensed his discomfort, touching him lightly on the arm. _

"_Hey are you sure you're alright? You don't have to do this you know, you can take as much time as you need" Nick said kindly._

_Greg shook his head emphatically "No, no, I'm fine, lets do this" He smiled what he hoped was a reassuring smile at Nick as they climbed out the car._

_Almost immediately his mind was assaulted by flashbacks of the last time he had been in this car park, of memories of being threatened with a gun, memories of being forced into the back of a car with no one to help him._

_Nick gripped his arm to steady his friend, sensing his discomfort. "It's okay Greg you're safe here" _

"_I know" Greg said " It's just well"_

_Nick nodded his head in understanding, he couldn't even begin to imagine how horrifying an ordeal Greg had been through, he wouldn't have blamed him for packing it all in, becoming an office worker, leaving Las Vegas for good. Instead here he was, confronting his demons at the very scene of his abduction. Nick could only marvel at his bravery._

_Greg shook off his fears and pushed through the double doors and into the hustle and bustle of the Las Vegas crime laboratory. It was as usual a hive of activity, lab technicians hurried about their business, testing fragments, firing weapons. Many of them nodded at him in greeting as he went past, small smiles offered as they took a moment to acknowledge the returning lab tech almost from the brink of death. _

_They passed by Conrad Ecklie who stopped to shake Greg's hand offering a simple "It's great to see you back Greg" by way of greeting. Everywhere he went, people stopped and stared, it was very unnerving. Greg was completely taken aback when Hodges hugged him somewhat awkwardly as they passed into his lab. "I'm glad you're back Sanders" he said simply, before straightening up and regaining his usual composure. In an evidence room, CSI's Warrick Brown and Catherine Willows were animatedly discussing theories when Catherine caught sight of Greg. They immediately went outside where a delighted Catherine enveloped Greg in a hug. Whereas Hodges' had been clumsy and awkward, there was no denying the warmth and relief in her hug. No words were necessary. When she released him, Warrick gave him a more manly embrace, slapping him good naturedly on the back, their joy at the returning friend was plain to see. _

_Greg though felt embarrassed like he was some kind of a returning hero, he felt like a fraud as it seemed every member of staff wanted to hug him or shake his hand. He passed the breakroom and his breath caught in his throat as he glimpsed Sara Sidle, sitting eating a sandwich. Their eyes met and they stood just considering each other for a second. Finally she couldn't stand the silence and ran to embrace him, it was tender and almost loving as she gently held him close, just glad that he was OK. They pulled back as Grissom and the rest of the team came in. "You look good" she whispered, still holding his hand._

"_Greg" Grissom acknowledged, smiling at the young man "Welcome back"_

"_Thanks Griss"_

"_How are you feeling?" _

"_Good" Greg nodded, not willing to divulge that all he could think whilst walking through the lab was that the last time he walked those corridors, they were littered with bodies. He had just about managed to keep it together, to stop the bile that had threatened to spill out his throat, when Grissom walked him to his lab. At first he kept it together amiably, telling Nick that the dire music situation would soon be rectified once he got his CDs back on. It looked like the old Greg was back but then his eyes fall on the chair, the chair he had been tied to, the chair where he once feared his life was over. he broke out into a cold sweat, his eyes teared up, and he started to shake, he heard someone, possibly Nick ask if he was OK before he threw up violently and passed out on the cold floor._

Greg smiled ruefully at the memory, it had got better after that first time, with time and more gentle cajoling from his counsellor, he had gradually began to disassociate those terrible memories from the present day, he had being able to go into work with a smile on his face and not keep seeing dead bodies and men with guns at every corner. It had been a long process but he was finally getting there, until last night that was. He sighed again, frustrated taking one last gulp of his coffee. He would overcome his fear if it was the last thing he did, he was 29 years old, his life was not over, far from it. He strolled outside to collect his mail musing what he could do, clearly he would just have to take things very slowly again, it would be worth it in the end, she was an understanding soul, he just hoped she didn't think he was too much of an idiot.

He thumbed through the post, still thinking of how he could make it up to her. Last night was just a blip, things just went too fast, it would be different next time, he promised himself. On his way back to the kitchen, he frowned, spotting the Robins summoning still discarded on the floor. He picked it up, and made a quick decision, he read it once more than wadded it into a ball, tossing it into the direction of the waste paper basket. _Score _he thought when it hit the bottom with a satisfying thud. That was all in the past now, his tormentor was dead, the only link to him would soon be dead and today was going to be a good day, he could feel it. Unfortunately though for Greg, the day was as far from good as it could possibly be.


	3. Back on the case

A/N: Sooo frustrating I haven't had time to work on this story, but recently I've put a few hours aside because I'm determined to get this sequel done, drafted where I went it to go, done some rough scenes, now it just needs fleshing out in detail. A million trillion apologies. The next 3 chapters are completely done and will appear periodically, meanwhile I am motoring on with the rest now I'm in a writing vein of mood.

That evening Greg sauntered into work without a care in the world, he felt filled with a new purpose. Some of the staff did a double take, since the abduction, the happy go lucky Greg had slowly but surely started to show glimmers of returning but he hadn't been this chipper for months.

Lab techs huddled together in whispers, they speculated just how could a man who had gone through such unspeakable trauma, leading him to the brink of death, bounce back like that? It was admirable to say the very least but tonight he was practically bouncing as if that fateful night had never happened. It was pleasing but it was also worrying, what had caused such an abrupt change?

"Good evening Mandy" Greg proclaimed, sidling up to the brunette lab lech, even lightly brushing her bottom as he came up beside her.

"Greg!" Mandy exclaimed astonished "What can I do for you?"

"Isn't a guy allowed to just come in and see your beautiful smile?" Greg replied cheekily

"Well no because they usually want something in return" Wendy smiled "Say speaking of which, how was your date last night?"

"Oh don't ask" Greg said dismissively, wincing at the memory.

"Ouch that bad?" sympathised Mandy

"Like I said I don't want to talk about" he said but quickly brightened " but I would like to talk about more exciting things!"

"Such as..." Mandy pushed.

"Such as my imminent trip back out into the field" Greg replied, his eyes sparkling.

"Gosh that's great Greg, I'm really pleased" Mandy enthused genuinely

"Yeah Grissom thinks I'm ready, he consulted with Doctor Lawson and she's happy too, so I guess I'm just waiting for the call" Greg said happily.

"Greg" Grissom said, popping his head in.

"Ah speak of the devil!" Greg exclaimed "Excellent timing Griss"

"We've got work to do" Grissom beckoned to him.

"Good luck" Mandy called after the departing Greg

Greg turned around and made a thumbs up gesture and smile before following Grissom into his office.

Nick, Catherine, Sara and Warrick were already there. Catherine and Sara seated, Nick and Warrick casually leaning against the door.

Grissom was preparing to dole out the assignments. "OK" he said briefly flipping through the notes. "Nicky you're with me on a robbery at a grocery store off the I-15. Warrick ,Sara, B and E turned into a 419 in Henderson and Greg I want you to go with Catherine on a body dump" He squinted to read the finer details of the case "Oh" His brow furrowed at something he read and he looked up at Greg awkwardly. "Actually it's probably best you come with me and Nicky on our case Greg" He quickly corrected.

Greg frowned " Why the change Grissom?"

Gil silently handed the note to Catherine and Greg who read it quickly

" Oh" he said "Okay" looking considerably paler than he had a few moments ago. Catherine rubbed his back in sympathy. "What an awful coincidence" she commented, passing the note to Nick, Sara and Warrick.

"Oh man" Nick sighed reading the case details _Body discovered partly submerged in a storm drain._ His own personal memories of that night were that it was the worst night ever, when Catherine found him and Greg looked gone...oh he couldn't have even begun to imagine what it had been like for Greg himself, tied up with no idea if anyone was coming for him or even if he could survive that long. And even after that when they finally freed him and he wasn't breathing. Awful, awful memories. The mood had turned immediately sombre in the office on learning the location of that body, what a cruel twist of fate. It was difficult for Greg to think of anything else other than _that could have been me._

"Right, okay then, are we all sorted on the finer details?" Grissom said eager to raise the atmosphere and get things moving.

"You ready?" He indicated to Greg.

"Sure am" Greg replied with false brightness. Soon, they were on their way, Grissom quickly debriefing. " One worker at the time, was locked in the storage closet whilst the assailant made their getaway, shots fired but no casualties. Greg I want you to process the scene and Nick will supervise. Brass and myself will be there if needed but I want to see how you manage. The scene has been cleared" He added. "Good Luck" he said touching Greg's shoulder as he got out the car.

Greg blew out his cheeks, it was going to be absolutely fine, confidently he carried in his kit box, with Nick reassuringly at his side and an officer stationed at the door. His eyes immediately swept the small store, his brain quickly kicking into forensics mode.

There was a distressed looking middle-aged female shopkeeper chatting to Brass, the cash register was splayed open on the counter, its contents raided. A few small coins were scattered here and there on the floor. Two bullet holes presumably fired to frighten the woman into submission, otherwise they were a lousy shot, were embedded high on the wall behind the counter.

Greg's keen eyes also spotted a few red drops spattered on the floor, bending to examine the sticky substance it was clear it was blood, Greg frowned, raising himself to his full height. "Miss erm...French?" Greg asked, squinting to read the red name tag pinned to her red uniform. "Were you hurt at all? Was there a struggle?"

Miss French turned away from Brass to regard the man who had just spoke. She raised her eyebrow slightly before replying in an unmistakenbly thick Texan accent.

"My, my ain't you a little young for this kind of work honey?"

Greg felt his cheeks darken slightly but ignored the comment, pressing her, "there's blood on the floor"

"Yes sir there is, that is where I slashed the young hoodlum on his wrist with my knife" She said proudly.

Greg blinked in surprise, apparently the woman was a lot feistier than she appeared.

"You did?"

"Yep, I cut him good on his wrist before he locked me in the closet." Greg shook his head slightly at the have a go heroism the woman had exhibited. Brave but totally stupid, when would people learn they were more than likely to end up dead trying to be the hero than if they just co-operated?

"Okay Miss French, did you get a good look at the man's face?" Greg asked

" He was no man sir, he was just a boy, I didn't get a good look at his face because he had one of those hoodie things all the young ones wear but for sure he was a kid, real nervous and not quite sure how to handle that pistol you know?"

Greg nodded.

"So he told me to empty the cash register and put it in his bag. He fired his pistol into the wall above my head so I darn well did it. Then he told me to move into the store closet, presumably so he could make his getaway but before he locked me in that cupboard I slashed his wrist with a knife I concealed. He called me a f***** bitch and slammed the door."

"Okay then" Greg said digesting the information carefully, "so you never saw how he left?"

"No sir"

"Okay, thank you" Greg smiled.

If she slashed him on the wrist, there should be a lot more blood than what they had already seen. Nick was busy photographing the bullet holes so Greg tracked the blood. Unusually there was none near the door, where the thief was expected to have made his exit or anywhere near that area. The biggest blood pool was near the closet where she slashed him and a few dots here and there, so where did he go?

His eyes fell on a tiny red dot on the restroom door handle. _Bingo!_ Greg looked around, and seeing Nick and Brass still busy, he swung the door open. The small window inside was open and more tiny droplets of blood were spattered on it and the frame. After taking photographs and dusting for any prints, Greg casually swung open the door to each of the stalls, hoping to see if the gun had been ditched as is often the case when assailants panic. His search of the first two yielded nothing but as he opened the third, his heart leapt into his mouth, he had found the gun alright, what he did not count on was the the frightened wild-eyed kid who was still holding it and pointing it shakily right at him.

"YOU COME ONE STEP CLOSER, I'LL BLOW YOUR FREAKING HEAD OFF!" He screamed.

To be continued...


	4. Is that your final answer?

The desperate cry stunned everyone in the store, guns were drawn immediately towards the restroom. Nick quickly took in the scene and his heart plummeted to the floor. Inside the small restroom, Greg was standing rooted to the spot, his palms outstretched defending himself, probably paralysed with fear as the kid who presumably had hidden, backed him slowly against a wall, his gun pointing unsteadily toward Greg's stomach. It was clear this kid was terrified and had no idea what to do, seeing the other officers with their guns drawn toward him, he quickly shifted Greg in front of him, who did not protest. All Nick could see was sheer terror in the eyes of both the kid and Greg.

"I'll shoot him!" The kid screamed again, his gun constantly wavering unsteadily.

Nick tried to look Greg straight in the eye who seemed to be looking beyond Nick at nothing. Nick knew Greg was probably reliving some kind of flashback and he needed to get him to focus. Suddenly though those soulful eyes connected with his, and although still fearful Greg indicated he knew what to do with a slight nod of his head. He was ready, a silent understanding passed instantly between the two men.

"I'll shoot him, I'll blow his cop brains out all over the floor!" The kid continued to threaten, clearly becoming more deranged. It was now or never.

Nick instructed the kid calmly "Lower your weapon. If you shoot that man, this will not end well for you, lower your weapon and let him go"

As Nick said 'go' Greg took his cue, ducking slightly to the left, to give Nick a clear shot. It was split second stuff, but Nick's bullet hit the kid squarely in the shoulder, harmlessly sending him sprawling to the floor in some pain but no life threatening injuries. Greg moved swiftly away and the officers quickly moved in.

The whole situation had lasted no more than about 3 or 4 minutes but Greg was understandably shaken. As soon as that gun had been pointed at him, his surroundings, the frightened kid holding the pistol all disappeared and were immediately replaced by memories he had tried his hardest to repress of being beaten and tortured. That brief flashback had left him completely paralysed for a few crucial seconds but finally he saw Nick. As soon as he saw Nick standing calmly, his weapon drawn, he quickly remembered it wasn't a ruthless serial killer holding him hostage, just a frightened kid with no idea what to do or even handle a weapon. His hostage training came flooding back to him, it had been one of the first things he had insisted on in his training package, and his eyes had met with Nick's and everything was OK again.

Nick, however was not OK, in fact he was absolutely furious and angrily rounded on the officer responsible for clearing the scene. "How the hell could you let this happen?" He shouted

"I checked in there, saw the window and assumed he was gone, he must have been well hidden" The officer retorted, clearly not in the slightest bit bothered his carelessness had placed Greg in a dangerous situation.

Nick was unimpressed but wisely decided to walk away, knowing he could not be held responsible for his actions if he continued to look at the officer's smarmy face, he would get his punishment for failing to do his job, that would just have to suffice.

He found Greg outside being comforted by Miss French " Are you sure you're okay honey? You don't look too good" she said kindly handing him a coffee.

Greg accepted it gratefully "thank you"

"No problem sugar" She said walking away as Nick approached

Nick noticed Greg was clutching the disposable coffee cup as though his life depended on.

"Hey you alright?" He asked full of concern for his friend.

"Yeah, I'm OK just a little shaken" Greg replied, glancing at Nick.

Nick nodded, "Yeh, I'm sorry about that Greg. I can't believe that happened today of all days, you did really well though, proud of you"

Greg eyed Nick sceptically " Really? Standing there like a lemon not daring to breathe?"

"Absolutely! Of course it was a shock, anyone would have reacted like that, at first, it's only natural" _especially after what you went through_ Nick thought privately "but you pulled yourself together, remembered your training and despite your obvious fear, you did everything right and got away unscathed."

"I shouldn't have gone in there though, after seeing those blood drops" Greg pointed out.

"Bullshit" Nick replied " You had no reason to fear going in there if that officer had done his job properly and cleared the _entire _scene, then you wouldn't have been put in that position" Nick seethed.

"I guess" Greg shrugged.

"Anyway" Nick said "what on earth was that dude still doing in there anyway, he had already got what he wanted!"

"Oh I do have a theory about that actually" Greg smiled.

"Pray do tell" Nick grinned at him

"Well, I think he had some wild elaborate plan to avoid the CCTV by the door so decided to leave via the restroom"

"So if that was the case, then why was he still hiding out in the johns?" Nick asked, still puzzled.

"Uh I think he misjudged the size of the window and his booty was too big to fit through the window" Greg said quickly, stifling his smile by raising his coffee to his lips.

He caught Nick's eyes though and could hold it in no longer, the two men laughed long and loud, Greg spraying coffee everywhere as he snorted through his laughter just as Grissom approached.

"Well I'm glad to see you're clearly OK Greg" He said arching an eyebrow at the pair about the joke he had obviously missed. "We were worried for you in there"

"Sorry Griss" Nick said still grinning at Greg.

"Greg you still need to finish up in there if you're OK to do that" Grissom instructed.

" Absolutely" Greg replied, quickly sobering up to the job again.

"And Nick you'll need to give a statement about the shooting" Grissom added.

"Later Greggo" Nick said high- fiving him as the two went to do their jobs.

Some time later, when all the tasks and paperwork were complete, the two men were preparing to go home after an eventful night. Greg packed up his stuff, watching as Nick changed his shoes, deciding whether or not to tell him or not, he decided to just go with it.

"Nick can I tell you something?" He said tentatively

"Yeh sure buddy" Nick said, not even glancing up as he tied his laces.

Greg leaned uneasily against the lockers. " I got a letter yesterday. From Jack"

"Yeh, Jack, Jack who?"

"Robins" Greg said carefully, watching Nick's reaction.

Nick stiffened, his full attention on Greg now. "Shit Greg" He said softly

"I know"

"Did you read it, what did he say?"

"That he wants to see me" Greg whispered.

"What! Son a bitch!" Nick exclaimed "I hope you told him where to shove it!"

"Yeah" Greg said slightly taken aback by Nick's venomous reaction. "I tossed it in the trash"

"Good, best place for him" Nick said dismissively

"Yeah" Greg said absent mindedly "but you don't think I should?"

"Do you?" Nick asked incredulously

"No, no of course not, its just that after what happened tonight, I thought about it again and maybe I could get some kind, some kind of..."

"Closure?" Nick almost spat

"Yes" Greg said unwilling to meet Nick's angry eyes.

"Jesus Greg, this guy killed some innocent couple, got some of our colleagues killed and let his sadistic boyfriend kidnap you! What could he possibly say that you need to hear?"

"I don't know..I just think...I need to see him before he dies." Greg replied not even convincing himself.

"He's not going to give you any answers. Honestly Greg I don't think it's a good idea. Promise me you won't go?"

"I don't know" Greg said hurriedly packing his bags not making eye contact. "I don't know if I can promise you that Nicky" he said walking away quickly.

"Greg!" Nick shouted after him "I'm telling you, it's not a good idea! Please don't do it Greg"

but Greg was already out the building, Nick's pleas falling on death ears.

Greg quickly got to his car, and just sat for a couple of minutes. Why was he even considering it? Nick was right surely no good could come of it, so why did he have this nagging doubt it was just something he had to do? Why had tonight triggered that feeling? He sat back, slumping his head against the headrest. He hadn't expected Nick to respond quite so furiously, he knew his friend was only looking out for him but it bothered him that he had been so angry. Why? Was there something Nick wasn't telling him? He kind of wished he hadn't even mentioned it to Nick now, it was just something he had thought about on the ride back from the grocery store. He just couldn't explain it but he felt an odd compulsion to go.

Easing the car into gear, he mulled it over on the drive back home, by the time he pulled into his parking garage, he still was no closer to a decision. He was officially exhausted and just wanted to crawl into bed, but he spied the scrunched up ball of paper in his waste paper basket as soon as he entered the house, like a beacon calling out to him. He reached in to grab it and smoothed it out again on the table, reading the details. He would come to a decision tomorrow, after a solid few hours sleep, his decision would be clear in his mind. Yes that's would he do, he would sleep on it. He left the letter where it was on the kitchen table, leaving it shimmering in the now dawn light that was flooding through the windows.


	5. Reflection and resolution

Surprisingly despite the evening's events and his mind awash with indecision, Greg had got to sleep relatively quickly, unfortunately he had only been asleep for about two hours when he was rudely interrupted by an almighty crash.

Immediately alert, he sat bolt upright in bed, his torso slick with sweat, a combination of the humid Las Vegas morning and the adrenaline that was currently pumping through him. Luckily as it was daylight, it was clear almost immediately what had caused the crash and his heart rate returned to normal quickly. He moved over to examine the shelf that had somehow mysteriously fell down all by itself and frowned. It wasn't new and he hadn't placed anything heavy on it recently that might have caused it to fall. There was a few small books and a stupid ornament dog that Sara had once bought him as a joke that had shattered into about a hundred pieces. Greg wasn't in the slightest bit upset about that, what was annoying was the humongous box of photos that had spilled out when the shelf crashed.

Knowing it would take him ages to get settled in bed again, he decided to start the clear up now, sweeping up the pieces of the dog and beginning to retrieve the mounds of photos that had fanned out all over the floor, wishing he had took the time to catalogue them into an album. The photos were wide and varied, some highly embarrassing baby/ growing up photos that he quickly stuffed away, afraid Nick or someone would walk in in the next minute, photos of his wild and crazy college years that caused him to smile and photos taken with his lab family. He froze as his hand wavered over one image. If this shelf collapsing wasn't some kind of supernatural sign that he needed to visit Robins, he didn't know what else was. He stared at the glossy image, the big smiles and found some similar ones. He remembered these days well.

_Flashback – 3 Years before the abduction_

_Greg Sanders was one happy man. Here he was finally fulfilling his life's ambition to become a forensics scientist. He couldn't help smiling, so much so in fact it appeared he was freaking his new supervisor out somewhat._

"_Do you think, you could perhaps tone your enthusiasm down somewhat?" Gil Grissom said politely. "It's just when we do an autopsy on a murder victim, it's just a little unsettling to see you looking almost happy about it."_

_Greg immediately painted a neutral expression on his face. " Sorry Grissom, I'm just overwhelmed to be here, I mean just wow! I can't wait to get stuck in to some serious work!"_

_Sara, a pretty brunette cocked an eyebrow towards him "Really? I wonder if you'll still be saying that by the end of your first week" _

"_I'm the newbie, I'm entitled to have newbie buzz aren't I?"_

"_Sure and make your you swing by the breakroom after you finish your first full shift tomorrow, we might have something for you" She winked at him._

"_Oh awesome" Greg said again beaming the kilo watt smile they had already become fully accustomed to from their newest lab rat._

_The next night:_

_It wasn't just anyone who got a 'welcome to the team' party in their honour, Nick was even bitterly complaining he hadn't had one but such was the impression young Greg Sanders had had on the team with his boundless enthusiasm in the short time they had known the kooky lab tech they felt obliged to._

"_You guys really didn't have to make a fuss you know!" Greg had said as he entered the break room._

"_I wouldn't really call some cups of fizzy pop, lame streamers, and some stale cake much of an effort" Warrick smiled_

"_I know I'm just genuinely quite touched" Greg said "It's not every day that people eat stale cake in my honour"_

"_We just wanted you to feel part of the group" Grissom said kindly_

"_Aw thanks you guys. I feel like I've known you all my life" He mock sobbed._

"_Hey if we can't have a little party in honour of our newest member, when can we?" Catherine said "It's not the happiest workplace in the world"_

_Almost as if on cue, the stoic Conrad Ecklie entered, immediately dampening the atmosphere._

"_I see you're all hard at work" He said sarcasticly "Anyway I thought you'd all like to meet our newest team member"_

"_I'm right here" Greg grinned, a mouthful of cake_

_Ecklie regarded him with some disdain, "not you Sanders, it already feels like you have been here a long time" he added rolling his eyes dramatically._

"_No our other newest member, our brand new weapons expert, Jack Robins, I trust you will all pop along to ballistics in due course" He said, before walking out._

"_Aw man!" Greg moaned "I bet he hired this dude on purpose just so he could upstage my 'newest member party'"_

"_I'm sure he didn't" Grissom said diplomatically_

"_Sure he already decided after less than a week that he HATEs me."_

"_Ecklie hates anyone" Catherine commented, " Don't take it to heart"_

_20 minutes of Dr Pepper chugging and stale cake consuming later they were down to ballistics to meet this Jack. Greg took an immediate disliking, Jack was tall and handsome, with defined cheekbones and this lustrous jet black hair, he was also annoyingly nice, it was impossible to really hate him. Nick seemed to form some instant bond with him that riled Greg somewhat as he had made little progress with the brusque Texan thus far._

_As they all seemed to fawn over the newest newcomer, Greg found himself sulking somewhat at not being the centre of attention until Catherine shoved a camera in his face and said " let's take a picture of the newbies!"_

_Greg found himself for once unwillingly thrust in front of the camera, faking a smile with his uncomfortably draped around Jack's shoulder._

It was this image that Greg found himself unable to stop staring at. He remembered the awkwardness between himself and Jack during that photo taking and their working relationship in general but it had got better, in fact he reminisced sadly, Jack and him and had become firm friends.

_1 year before the abduction_

_The whole lab had worked flat out on nailing a serial killer for some time, when they got the conviction they wanted, they had more than earned their right to celebrate. So while Grissom and Catherine had celebrated in their own private ways and retired for the night, the younger party including Greg, Nick, Warrick, Jack and Sara had headed out to well and truly celebrate a job well done._

_Of course in their line of work, such obvious shows of celebration had to be avoided, anyone's psycho relative could be listening in so champagne toasts of self congratulations were most definitely out. _

_The group headed for a table in the corner, beer bottles in hand. It was strictly pleasure, both Sara and Warrick had brought dates with them and were chatting together politely meanwhile the three amigos, as they had come to be known for their close bond, were quickly huddled around the big screen watching some football game. _

_Greg and Jack had become quickly engrossed in the game, but Nick had just as quickly got distracted by the blonde at the bar, giving him the eye as she coyly flirted with the straw in her drink. Grabbing his beer off the table, all thoughts of the game were forgotten as he went to join her. Greg rolled his eyes at Jack, it was just typical, Nick was like this indestructible pulling machine, he couldn't have even put it down to the accent this time, she never even heard it. Greg was kind of seeing someone anyone, it wasn't serious but he found Carla a lot of fun and he certainly respected her enough not to cheat on with her the first pretty girl who gave him the eye, whilst she was on business. He was certainly never short of offers. The game came to an uneventful end, and Jack and Greg spent a few minutes, bemoaning the team's luck and performance. Jack though had seemed very preoccupied,almost troubled._

"_Greg could I talk to you about something?" He said struggling to make himself heard above the rowdy football fans._

"_Sorry, yeah, you wanna move?" he indicated, jerking his thumb to the couches in a quieter area. Greg lazily plopped down on one of the sprawling leather couches, Jack perched more uncomfortably opposite him. "So what did you want to talk about?" Greg asked, his eyes not on Jack but at the hot brunette girls getting hot and sweaty on the dance floor together._

_Jack quickly gulped down the rest of his beer, checked there was no one in immediate earshot and quickly said. _

"_Greg I'm gay"_

_Greg who had been taking a swig of his beer at the time, was momentarily stunned, he forced himself to swallow the liquid to keep from spluttering in Jack's face. He stared dumbly and said "Really?"_

"_Yup" Jack affirmed._

"_Wow" Greg knew he was being stupid and not offering any support or any thing in the way of communication at all, but his brain was whirring, why had he chosen to tell Greg? An uneasy feeling suddenly hit him._

" _Erm why did you decide to tell me Jack?" He said awkwardly, almost not daring to hear the answer._

_Jack looked at him wide eyed "What? You think? Oh god no, definitely not"_

_Despite himself, Greg couldn't help being mortified at the 'definitely not' and he guessed it showed on his face_

"_Oh Greg, I didn't mean it like that, you're perfectly attractive...but I can see I'm not handling this at all well am I?" He said, noting Greg's expression change from mortification to embarrassment and back to mortification again. He laughed because if he didn't he was sure he would cry. Luckily it seemed to lighten the atmosphere. Greg laughed too._

"_Well that just did NOT come out right, I suppose what I'm trying to say is as one of my best buddies I wanted to tell you, and while I love you man, I don't _love _you and you're just not my type. Is that better?" He asked hopefully._

"_Much better" confirmed Greg "I'm absolutely cool with it. I always wondered why you and that Sophie chick didn't work out, she was one hottie"_

"_Not my type" Jack smiled "I'm glad you're OK with it"_

"_Why wouldn't I be?" Greg frowned_

"_I don't know, it's just some people don't handle these things all that well, they might treat you differently"_

"_Not in my family" Greg said defiantly_

"_Thanks but Greg I don't want anyone else to know yet, if that's cool?"_

"_Hey it's your life, I won't tell anyone, my lips are sealed" Greg smiled_

_Just then Nick approached their couch "Hey what are you two looking so happy about it? In fact wait don't move, we need a happy Greggo and Jack pic instead of the usual moody pictures." He grinned grabbing his camera. Greg and Jack chinked their beer bottles together, a secret knowing smile, passed between them._

It was that memory and that photo that Greg held, how was it so possible for a man to change like that? To go from being one of his best friends, who he trusted all his secrets too, who he would once have trusted his life to someone who betrayed him so much, that he actually nearly lost his life as a result of it. It just made no sense. Jack was no casual acquaintance or just someone he worked with, he was a friend and a very good one at that and now he was facing the death penalty. It was the biggest transformation and he just could not get his head around it, even if he hadn't been the victim, he still would have struggled to understand it, Jack was quiet and sweet natured, he wasn't a killer, some mistake surely he would have said but there was no mistake, he had witnessed it all with his own eyes and he was the key player in it all. He scooped up all the photos and haphazardly dumped them back into the box. He knew what he had to do, he couldn't let Jack die without hearing why. He had to understand. He took purposeful strides into the kitchen and clutched the letter, Nicks words came back to him in an instant '_Please don't do it Greg' _I'm sorry I just have to. Greg thought grabbing the phone. He took a deep breath, and hoped to God he was making the right decision. "Hello, it's Greg Sanders, I'd like to confirm a visitation order?"


	6. Facing up to demons

As Greg was taken through the various checkpoints and procedures, he couldn't help but worry yet again if he was doing the right thing. He had deliberately decided to dress down in a T-shirt, faded jeans and baseball cap as he didn't particularly want some over excited prison guard informing the world that Greg Sanders had visited a killer. He felt his nerves growing as he grew ever closer to facing one of the men who had wrecked his life, he didn't know how he was going to react when seeing his one time friend and ultimate betrayer but it shocked even him. As he abruptly came into the room and face to face with Jack, he found he felt absolutely nothing at all. Jack looked so pathetic, so emotionless, a shadow of the man he once knew that that he felt nothing but pity. He sat down slowly into the hard, plastic chair, looking at Jack the whole time through the glass. He picked up the receiver, gripping it hard, watching as Jack did the same.

"I'm glad you came Greg" Jack said by way of simple greeting. "I just had to say sorry" he added pitifully.

Greg let out a snort, before an incredulous look glazed over his face and he laughed bitterly. Jack looked confused. "What's wrong?"

"It's just I thought you said you were sorry?" Greg questioned for clarification.

"I did, very sorry" Jack confirmed somewhat feebly, hanging his head.

Greg let out another small chuckle before his face hardened. "You see 'sorry' is something you might say if you accidently bump into someone in the street, or sorry you forgot to call your date on time or I'm sorry I forgot your birthday" Greg knew his voice was dangerously loud and a few people around him were starting to look on in concern but he didn't care. He could feel tears beginning to prick the back of his eyes as he became more emotional. "but I'm sorry my freaking psychopath of a boyfriend kidnapped and tortured you? You say don't say sorry for that, in fact Jack, sorry doesn't even _begin _to cut it. Nick was right" He said in disgust "I should never have come."

He got up to leave but Jack begged him to stay "Please Greg don't go, just hear me out!" He pleaded. Greg looked back at his pathetic, pleading face and decided he would hear him out, it was going to be the last time he ever saw him.

"I know that nothing I can say will ever be enough, and I am paying for my crimes with my life but I just had to tell you Greg that I never ever meant to hurt anyone especially you"

"So why did you?" Greg almost cried "Why did you agree to his plans to take me? WHY DID YOU LET HIM DO THOSE THINGS TO ME?" Greg screamed, distressed.

Jack looked totally distraught and ashamed "It was never supposed to be this way" He said rocking back on his chair "He lied to me, I was so so naive"

"I nearly died though Jack! That sick son of a bitch, assaulted me over and over again and then left me to die! What was supposed to happen? You collected a nice little ransom sum and I was returned unharmed? You're right Jack, you are naive" Greg said, disgusted.

"He told me he loved me!" Jack cried out, desperate now " He said we would just get cash for any CSI, he never ever even mentioned anything about you!"

"Yet you still went along with it though didn't you Jack? Even when he finally told you his sick little plans!" Greg spat out.

"No, No it wasn't like that all!" Jack attempted to protest. "He NEVER told me exactly what he planned, god Greg if I knew he was going to do those awful things, If I'd known he was going to ra.." Jack began to shake violently and looked ill.

"Go on Jack, you can say it, you let it happen after all!" Greg lashed out angrily.

"No Greg you have to believe me" Jack said in absolute despair now. " If I'd known what a monster he was, I would have killed him myself, I wouldn't have let him near you or anyone"

"But you didn't" Greg said, tears now streaking down his face, "Instead you killed _for _him, you killed two innocent people and your actions almost killed me. What happened to you?" Greg implored, searching for reason in Jack's eyes. He was sobbing openly now, he didn't care. "Why would you do that man I thought we were friends?"

"I can't explain it Greg, he had a hold on me that I just couldn't ignore. I know I was a fool and I know that I deserve to die"

Greg couldn't argue with that. "So is that it? That's all you wanted me here for, just to say you were sorry?"

"No Greg, I need your forgiveness, I need you to forgive me"

"That is a joke right Jack? You want me to forgive you, seriously?"

"Yes, I deserve to be punished for my sins but I must beg your forgiveness first"

It quickly occurred to Greg that Jack was deadly serious. He never had him down as the god fearing religious type, it was suddenly clear he never knew Jack at all in reality.

"You're going straight to hell Jack, I for one hope you burn" Greg sneered, his hatred for this pitful man full blooded now.

Jack looked completely broken "All I am guilty of is falling in love with the wrong person"

"You really believe that don't you? I can't even feel sorry for you, you're so pathetic, we are done" Greg slammed the phone down. Jack didn't take it too well, screaming for Greg to come back. Greg carried on walking, he could hear him screaming as the prison guards tried to haul him away. Suddenly he heard him clearly, chilled at what though he heard. "Stop!" he shouted at the guards "Let me hear what he said, please" The guards allowed one last conversation. Greg picked up the phone again "What did you say?"

Jack no longer looked weak just determined and unhinged. "I said. Watch. Your. Back"

"I thought so" Greg replied angrily "Is that supposed to be a threat?"

"Consider it a friendly warning"

"About what? " Greg was furious how dare he make threats as his dying words!

"Put it this way there are a lot of people out there unhappy that HE is dead, I'm just telling you to be careful, this might not be over yet"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Greg said clearly rattled.

Jack smirked mysteriously "Bye Greg. I would like to go back to my cell now and enjoy my last few hours with my favourite TV show please" He requested to his guards, hanging up the phone.

"No Jack! You can't do this to me, What does that mean you son of a bitch!" Greg pounded on the glass angrily.

But Jack never looked back, it was the last Greg was to see of him.

"Dammit" He cursed bitterly. The supervising officer looked at him sympathetically. "I wouldn't worry too much, he's an absolute fruitloop, he's ranted and raved since the day he got here"

"But he said it wasn't over" Greg said desperately "what the hell does that mean? Haven't I already gone through enough?"

"Like I said don't worry, the majority of psychos here end up making some kind of empty threats, they're not mentally stable, they don't know what they're talking about half the time" He said kindly as he guided Greg out. "Don't you let that freak stop you living your life"

"I won't" Greg said, although there was no denying it had badly shook him up, he hadn't got his answers, in Jack's own mind he didn't know why he had done the things he did, there was absolutely no trace of the Jack he once knew, the shy sweet guy who trusted his secrets to you, he was gone replaced by a man who became a monster. The visit had been nothing short of a disaster. He tried to put what Jack had said to the back of his mind but it was impossible. It was probable that Jack was making empty threats like the officer said, but a nagging doubt knawed at him that there was something more to it. He doubted his day could get any worse but he was hideously wrong, as he left the sanctuary of the prison gates, his eyes were suddenly assaulted by a flashbulb and a barrage of questions fired at him.

He shielded his eyes from the cameras going off in his face, pulling his cap further across his face, and walking quickly to the car park. The press was jus what he did not need.

"Greg, Greg is it true, did you go visit a killer?"

"Greg how does it feel to be the only person who survived an attack by the most notorious of serial killers?" One paticularly bolshy female bellowed in his face.

"Greg is it actually true that Robins was Paul's lover?"

Greg muttered " I'm sorry I'm not making a comment" , his eyes completely downcast as he quickened his pace.

It didn't seem to deter the vultures of the press, who continued to press their microphones and recorders in his face, luckily the prison guards came to his rescue, shielding him from the persistant reporters and guiding him to the car park away from the frenzied questioning of the press. Greg was extremely grateful for their intervention, he just wanted to get home. He thanked the guards for their assistance and jogged to his car, anxious to leave. He sank into the seat and pulled off his baseball cap. He glanced in the mirror to check his appearance and nearly jumped out his skin at what he saw on the back seat.

"So Greg do I get the exclusive again?" His unexpected passenger purred at him.

"Jesus Talia!" Greg exclaimed angrily "Are you trying to give me a heart attack? How the hell did you get in my car?"

"You left it unlocked" Talia said simply, shrugging.

Greg didn't want to believe he could be so careless but he had a horrible feeling he was so stressed out about seeing Jack that he could quite well have done so, had he even unlocked it now or had he hopped straight in?

"How did you even know I would be here Talia? Who invited the fanfare?"

"Greg you should know by now that we have our sources, it only took one person to open their big fat mouth and wallah! Every newshound in the area was down here, you have to realise Greg this is one of the biggest stories in Las Vegas in _years" _Talia explained patiently.

Greg glared at her in the mirror, extremely peeved. He should have known better than to trust the prison assurances that his visit would be wholly off the radar. Talia was right, the story of the serial killer, his accomplice lover and the CSI victim was a _huge_ news story. Paul Simmonds had been a notorious killer in other states for years before this story, and to the press, the attempted murder of Greg and the story that came with it was just the cherry on the top of a rather juicy headline grabber anyway.

The media attention had been Greg's biggest struggle throughout his recovery, they had been interested in every aspect of his life, printing stories with everyone from his neighbour to his local pizza delivery guy. It had been too much for Greg to cope with, there were so many rumours flying around about what had happened, so many slurs and inaccuracies that with the support of the lab, Greg had finally told his side of the story. Talia Ramirez had been used in the past by the lab for official stories, she was a freelance journalist with an excellent reputation and had produced several acclaimed articles on some of Vegas' most well known residents. After agreeing to talk to Talia, Greg had been surprised when he met her, she wasn't a hardnosed journalist who wanted a story at all costs, she was actually quite beautiful, extremely understanding and sympathetic and he found her to be quite a comfort as they worked together on his story.

He had found himself telling Talia everything, and she had listened to his every word, and was there for him as he had recalled his darkest moments, unable to stop himself breaking down. Talia had kept to her word about what to include in the article, it wasn't completely warts and all, every word had been agreed with Greg and although it was at times harrowing, it was the best article he could have hoped for, it had seemed to satisfy the press, the story reproduced in every paper and magazine. For three months he had been the most famous man in Vegas but eventually they had grown bored and his story had been forgotton in favour of some sex scandal about a famous singer, that was until today. He certainly didn't want it raked up again.

"You have to know Greg that something like this would stir up interest, what _were _you thinking?"

Talia questioned

"Talia, I have nothing to say!" Greg snapped "Now please get out of my car"

Talia immediately did so but paused at Greg's window. " What's going on Greg? What did you hope to achieve?" She seemed genuinely concerned for him. "You've probably just opened a hornets nest again" She shook her head disbelievingly. "Please call me if you need me"

"Okay" Greg agreed, even though they both knew he wouldn't. He watched her sashay away, before slumping against the steering wheel in despair. In visiting Robins, had he just made one of the worst decisions of his life?


	7. Consequences and Consideration

His sleep that night had not been very successful, he just could not get what Jack had said out of his mind, and if it wasn't Jack, it was Talia and her concern that clouded his mind. Dawn came around quickly and all Greg could think was that this would be the last dawn that Jack would see. It was a strange thought but Greg found he had no remorse for Jack. He sat on his bed in quiet contemplation, when the silence was broken was punctuated by the sound of the mailbox dropping open. _Perhaps they haven't bothered to cover the story _Greg thought hopefully as he padded over to collect it but he instantly knew he was kidding himself. Although it wasn't quite front page worthy, that 'honour' belonged to the 'tell all piece' from the scorned wife of the rockstar cheat, it didn't take long to find it adorning Page 4, the headline screamed:

_FORGIVENESS? CSI VICTIM IN SECRET VISIT TO KILLER AND EX FRIEND!_

_The article had little in the way of cold hard facts but that seemed to matter little. Half of the page was taken up by a huge photo of Greg obviously taken during the paparazzi scrum, head bowed, eyes not looking toward the camera. A smaller photo of Greg and Jack taken some years ago at an event at the lab, showed them smiling together with the caption "Before the darkness"._

_The article itself was nothing more than fevered speculation with the unnamed prison source scum that had tipped off the press._

_"It's the story that has gripped Vegas and indeed most of America for months and yesterday it seemed to take one final shocking twist._

_Kidnap victim CSI Greg Sanders made a secret visit yesterday to see his ex pal and killer Jack Robins for one final time._

_Robins was the accomplice and secret lover of notorious serial killer Paul Simmonds who eventually shot himself after kidnapping and torturing the CSI, in a twisted plot of revenge and obsession._

_The terrifying episode of violence in February last year saw many people die, two solely at the hands of Robins. At his trial, Robins had pleaded how he was forced into the act by his sadistic lover but the jury, having heard how Robins killed innocent couple Lucy and Mark Clement in cold blood for nothing more than a diversionary tactic, then returned to the massacre at the Las Vegas Crime Lab where Sanders was abducted at gunpoint, took just two hours to find Robins guilty of two counts of murder in the first degree and sentenced him to the death penalty._

_That execution by lethal injection is taking place later today. Speculation is rife over the nature of Sanders 40 minute visit to see Robins yesterday. One prison guard who doesn't want to be named said of the secret visit. "As I understand it, Jack Robins made a personal request to see Mr Sanders before he died. Nobody could believe that he actually turned up". Our source continued " Mr Sanders requested the visit be as low key as possible. He turned up in jeans, trainers and a baseball cap, and clearly did not want to be seen"_

_Details of that final conversation between the men remain a mystery, but a fellow visitor described hearing shouting, before an upset looking Mr Sanders left the room. One theory is that religious Robins requested Sanders to seek forgiveness before he passed. Our source inside prison cofirmed that Robins prayed every night._

_However, it is not thought that Mr Sanders will be present at today's execution."_

Even though the article was the usual tabloid nonsense, Greg knew immediately he had made a mistake in going. He had only just about stopped becoming a figure of interest. The paparazzi had stopped camping outside his house when they realised that 'Greg collects his milk' was not a headline grabbing story. Now he had undone all that work.

He decided he needed to get out the house and go for a drive before work, he snatched up his cell and his pager, along with his car keys and headed out the door, dumping the newspaper in the trash can on the way out. He slipped on his shades and eased the car out of the parking spot. It was a typical warm and sunny Las Vegas day, he rolled down the window and loved the feeling of the wind ruffling his hair, his mood immediately began to improve. He fumbled for a CD for the player and was soon singing along to his favourite song, he felt very relaxed, the drive was very therapeutic, as he avoided all the popular hotspots, using all the backroads to get around. He soon found himself out in the Nevada desert, it was very peaceful away from the bright lights and hustle and bustle of the strip.

Greg found a quiet spot, turned off his cell, and enjoyed the feeling of being at absolute peace for a change, he let the sun warm his face, and the breeze whip his hair, hours seemed to pass in an instant, he felt completely calm. He watched as the sun gradually disappeared over the Las Vegas skyline and the cooler night air began to set in. He knew it was time to go. He switched on his cell and about twenty messages popped up, it was obvious where they were from, he tossed the cell onto the passenger seat, and experienced a leisurely ride back, he made a quick stop at home to get changed for work and then was on his way again.

It wasn't long before he hit traffic, long, tailbacks stretched back as far as the eye could see, a sea of red lights and angry drivers, Greg wasn't an angry driver but he was impatient and got fed up with delays, he had to be at the lab in an hour and as it stood he was not going to make it. Absent-mindely he drummed his hands on the steering wheel to his music. Ten minutes later, he had barely moved half a mile and he was starting to get irritated, clearly there must be a serious RTC. He stopped his CD and re tuned to the local station, hoping to get news of the accident, so he could plan an alternative route. The radio crackled to life and he found himself going numb from what he heard.

" The execution of double homicide convict Jack Robins was completed today by lethal injection. The 37 year old's execution was attended by a small number of officials and one family member."

Greg quickly turned the radio off, and sat in silence, oblivious to the tooting of horns from irate drivers all around him, he gripped the steering wheel hard. Jack was really gone, he was dead. All ties to his ordeal had now been severed and he just felt, nothing, no relief, no elation just nothing at all.

He was shook back to some kind of life when he realised that the irate beeping was at him, not moving as the traffic in front eased. He completed the rest of the journey to work in nothing but silence. Eventually clocking in thirty minutes late, he hurtled to the break room. The assorted people looked at him in silence.

Warrick was the first the speak " How very nice of you to join us" He muttered sarcasticly

"I know, I'm sorry there was a pile up on the I15 and I tried to call in but the signal was jammed and..." He apologised, before Nick cut him off abruptly, he noticed for the first time how furious he looked.

"Oh we were starting to think you were avoiding us" He commented brusquely.

Greg was momentarily confused "Why would I be.." then realisation hit him "Oh you saw it.."

"Yeh of course we saw it!" Nick spat out angrily, hurling the offending newspaper onto the table in front of Greg. "WHAT were you thinking?"

"Nicky" Catherine warned, noticing the Texan anger that was building up.

"I know Cath, it's just I TOLD you not to go Greg, I told you no good could ever come of it"

Greg found himself getting angry now, how dare Nick tell him what to do like that? "It was my decision Nick, _mine" _He retorted, looking Nick squarely in the eyes.

"And was it the right decision huh Greg?" Not from Nick, this time Warrick, who looked equally upset.

" Aw not you too man" Greg moaned " None of you understand, I had my reasons.."

"Really, what were they Greg, what could you _possibly _have gained from going to see him, I fail to see" Nick said.

"It's none of your damn business" He murmured, trying to get past Nick to grab some coffee.

"Dammit Greg you can be so stubborn sometimes!" Nick yelled slamming his arm against the wall to deny Greg access.

"Nick!" Catherine barked, more aggressively this time.

Greg drew himself to his full height and went toe to toe with Nick. " Let me past please" He asked calmly. Nick moved as if to let him past but stopped and pushed Greg against the wall.

"NICK!" Catherine yelled.

"Woah buddy, calm down!" said a shocked Warrick

Nick ignored them, using his arm to pin Greg against the wall. "You will listen to me!" He said "The LAST thing I wanted to do is see my stalker ever again!"

Greg was now absolutely furious, and tried to push Nick off, but he was considerably stronger. "It's not the same Nick!" He yelled back

Warrick managed to pull the furious Nick off Greg and held him, whilst Catherine did the same with Greg, who looked like he wanted to charge at Nick, she had never seen him so angry.

"Warrick! Take Nick to cool off!" she ordered, whilst still trying to hold the squirming Greg.

Nick stormed out and Warrick shot a disappointed shake of the head at Greg before following him.

Catherine rounded on Greg who was sat in a chair still steaming.

"God Greg, why did you do it"

"Oh not you Cath" Greg groaned and put his head in his hands at the table.

Catherine sat down by his side, and gently gripped his arm to get him to look at her. "It's just I understand you must have your reasons, but I'm just failing to see them, this man stood by and let you be abducted, he killed an innocent young couple..."

"I know all that Catherine" he said quietly, finally looking at her.

Catherine's expression softened, seeing the hurt on his face. "So why? Did you learn anything from it? You know why Nick's angry right? He just wants to protect you. Between you and me I still think he holds himself personally responsible for your abduction."

"Why?" Greg shook his head, confused, "It was nobody's fault"

"He considers himself to be a great judge of character" Catherine confided "He got it wrong once and was horrified he got it wrong again with Jack"

"But that's crazy, nobody could have predicted his motives...that's why I went. He added somewhat solemn. "How could someone who was not just a friend of mine, but a _good _ friend of mine Cath, do that to me? How could he just betray me like that?"

Catherine had no answers and suspected Greg didn't get his answers either. "Some people are just very hard to read" She commented "Absolutely no one could see that coming, so Nick needs to stop beating himself up about and so do you" Her words were firm not harsh.

"Nick will get over it" she added, "he's just extremely miffed that you went ahead and did it, we all care so much for you and just want what is best. We could see you were recovering, and to us this seemed like a step backward and nobody wants that for you, he was just concerned. It didn't help it came out in that rag!" She wrinkled her nose in disgust towards the discarded paper.

"Yeah" He agreed, "I tried to be discreet, really I did, I never wanted to upset anyone, that was never my intention"

"Greg you know NOTHING stays hidden in this town" Catherine chuckled lightly, "Someone always finds out"

"Yeah I realise that now"

Just at that second Grissom put his head around the door, "Catherine, Greg, my office now please." He said, before disappearing, just as rapidly.

Catherine and Greg got up together, and Greg held the door open for her. She smiled gratefully.

"Thanks" Greg said as she passed. She looked at him in surprise " for understanding" He added for clarification.

"I won't pretend I understand why you did it Greg, but I accept you have your reasons and I respect that, unfortunately Nicky will need more understanding. You want me to talk to him?"

"No, no I have to do, we'll make our peace I hope"

"Sure you will, Nicky doesn't hold grudges" Catherine grinned "for very long"

Greg smiled too but it was clear that as soon as they entered Grissom's office and encountered Nick's scowling face at Greg's entrance, that he was still holding this particular grudge.

The frostiness did not go unnoticed by the other team members.

"Nicky, Greg, you have a B and E, is that going to be a a problem?" Grissom said, arching an eyebrow at the pair.

"Nope no problem" Greg confirmed.

"No problem at all" Nick declared, snatching up the information and stalking out, barely looking back to bellow "Come on Greg!"

Greg gathered his things together and sighed, quickly rushing to catch up with the Texan, who barely offered him a glance, _Boy, was this going to be a long night._


	8. A Hard Day's Night

As they got into the car, Nick, still had not said one word and after 10 more minutes of solid silence, Greg knew it was going to be have to him that broke the ice. He sighed, running over in his mind what he was going to say to the stubborn Texan.

"Nick I..." he started but Greg had barely got out those two words before Nick brusquely cut him off with a hand up, still keeping his eyes on the road.

"No Greg, I don't want to talk about this now, OK? Let's just be professional, do our job and go home, we can talk about this some other time."

"Fine" Greg agreed, although he was still very unhappy with the situation, normally he and Nick shared lots of banter on the way to crime scenes as a way of relieving the tension before they encountered the somewhat gruesome situations they had to process. Tonight, they drove in virtual stony silence, only conversing to confirm the finer details of the case.

They arrived at the scene in a well to do neighbourhood, Detective Vartann was there to meet them and debrief, on seeing Greg, he couldn't resist a dig.

"Well, if it isn't our local celebrity Mr Sanders!" He said jovially.

"Har de har ha ha." Greg replied sulkily whilst Vartann exchanged looks with Nick.

"What have we got?" Nick asked, taking charge.

"Estelle Rivers, 72, widow, woke up, heard banging in her kitchen, went downstairs and discovered the intruder, on seeing Mrs Rivers, our intruder grabbed what he could including her handbag and some jewellery and fled over the back fence. It was all too much for Mrs Rivers who passed out at the shock of it all. She's okay now, she's over there with our officer, recovering." He jerked his thumb towards an elderly lady swathed in blankets, sitting in an ambulance. "One of you might want to go to hospital to talk to her after."

"Sure" Greg nodded, picking up his kit and following Nick into the house, it seemed Mrs Rivers had managed to disturb the intruder before they could do too much damage. Nick quickly made a start on the inside of the house, so Greg took that as his cue to examine the outside. He did his work on autopilot, barely even thinking about what he was doing, he took photographs, laid down evidence markers and searched the surrounding area for any other evidence, eventually finding a couple of gold chains that the thief had dropped in his haste to escape. He clearly wasn't the brightest thief in Vegas and Greg had no doubt from the finger prints, foot impressions and general clumsiness he exhibited that they would soon catch up with him. They finished processing the scene in just over an hour, it was a very straight forward case. As they climbed back into the car, Nick turned to acknowledge him, "so, Estelle?"

"What?" Greg blinked.

"Estelle, the home owner, do you want to go to the hospital or shall I?" Nick said in an exasperated tone.

"Oh right, would you mind? I've just got some things to finish up at the lab, if that's OK?" He enquired tentatively.

"Sure, no problem at all." Nick replied without emotion.

The journey back, was again completed in a dark silence, Greg found himself staring attentively out the window at the world he normally passed by without a glance. Even though it was fast approaching 1am, Vegas, bristled with activity. He watched the couple necking in the doorway, whilst their SUV sat at the lights, until he felt like a pervert. He watched the old, homeless, man curled up on a bench, pulling his poor excuse for a blanket tighter around him as if it would shield him from the cold biting air. Scores of drunken revellers passed them by without even a thought for anything other than their own selfish pleasures. He watched on as an old man took his beloved dog for a late night stroll, obviously feeling the crowded albeit dark streets were just as safe as during the day. In a city like Vegas, Greg knew _nowhere_ was safe, no matter what time of day. As they passed the casinos and the gaudy lights of the strip clubs, he observed bouncers arguing with a wealthy looking man, and a young girl dressed provocatively in strips of fabric that barely passed for an outfit was begging to be let in a sleazy club. Greg slumped back, not wanting to see any more, he knew what went on after dark, he dealt with it on a nightly basis.

As they arrived back at the lab, Nick handed him some things from the scene, then he dropped off Greg without a word and headed to the hospital.

Greg felt as low as he had in some considerable time, he made his way to his lab and shut the door firmly behind him,simply wanting to get his work done and just get home. He was startled out of his reverie by a knock at the door. He hoped it would be Nick, wanting to straighten things out but was sorely disappointed to be greeted by a stern looking Conrad Ecklie.

He inwardly groaned, hoping it didn't show too much on his face. "Ecklie." he acknowledged as politely as he could muster.

"Sanders we need to talk." Ecklie said abruptly, getting straight to the point.

"Oh god Ecklie not now!" He groaned, not caring that his displeasure showed, "Now is not a good time, what happened with Nick was nothing."

"I have no idea what happened with Nick, Greg." Ecklie said, folding his arms "But perhaps you would like to enlighten me?"

Greg quickly wiped the surprised look from his face "Oh it really was nothing, honestly."

Ecklie continued to look unimpressed but didn't press him further on the matter. An awkward silence passed between the two men with Ecklie, continuing to stand in the doorway like a naughty school child, waiting to enter the headmaster's office.

"So, er, what did you want to talk about?" Greg said steering the conversation smoothly away from his bust up with Nick.

"Ah yes, right." Ecklie said, obviously having a few doubts himself what he was there for. "I need to talk to you, in private" he said, sidling in to Greg's lab and closing the door with a swift bang to make his point.

Greg leaned against the counter and tried to appear as casual as possible, when the truth was that he was disturbed by this sudden visit. Conrad Ecklie was easily his least favourite person in the whole building and they had barely exchanged more than a paragraphs worth of words in all the years that he had been there. He got the distinct feeling he was in trouble.

"Greg, I've seen that article, it is on the verge of bringing the lab into disrepute, we do not like our employees to become tabloid fodder and the subject of fevered speculation, your actions stoked that speculation tenfold." he said bluntly.

"I know Ecklie, all I can do is apologise." Greg said sincerely, "It was never my intention to bring harm to anyone."

"But that's not why I'm here" Ecklie continued. "I was there." He said mysteriously.

"Sorry, Ecklie, I'm not following?" Greg said with a hint of confusion, "you were there _where?"_

"Today, I was there" He repeated, still not making himself any clearer.

"Ecklie is this supposed to be a challenge to guess what you're talking about, because I gotta say I need more clues." Greg joked.

"I was there," Ecklie said, his expression stoic, moving closer to Greg to make him understand. "At the execution."

Greg was absolutely floored by the simple statement, his mouth opened and closed, not knowing what to say. Eventually he managed to find the energy he needed to form the word "Why?"

"Well, you're not the only one who had unfinished business." Ecklie replied smoothly

"I don't know what you mean." Greg said, still reeling from the shock.

"Well you obviously have issues because of your previous friendship with Jack but I was the one who _hired_ him in the first place." Ecklie said.

"But I still don't understand why _you_ feel bad Ecklie? He wasn't a killer when you hired him, so I still don't follow?" Greg replied.

"That still doesn't make me feel any better." Ecklie muttered quietly.

Ecklie was behaving very strangely, he was suddenly unable to look Greg in the eye. "Truth is Greg, I feel responsible for what happened to you. I was responsible for hiring both of those men, for bringing danger into your life, I felt obliged to see this through to the end. I never thought that someone I hired could turn out so bad, I never thought I could make such a poor character judgement twice."

Greg still wasn't following Ecklie's process of thought and in all honesty, had never seen Ecklie exhibit such humanity before, he never thought he had a conscience. He found himself feeling a little compassion for the man. "What was it like?" He blurted out suddenly without thinking. "Watching him die?"

"It was an execution Greg." Ecklie said stonily, "What did you think it would be like? It was absolutely awful, I placed a lot of trust in that man. It was indescribable Greg, you don't want to know."

Greg immediately looked ashen-faced.

"You mentioned a bust up with Nick? I guess it was over the visit. I understand why you had to go, the others, they'll understand in time. I wouldn't take it too personally". Ecklie said almost kindly.

Greg was a little taken aback, in that moment he half expected Ecklie to hug him, he wasn't known for his personal displays of affection.

"Thanks Ecklie, I appreciate you telling me."

Ecklie nodded and turned to go, but something seemed to stop him, he hovered in the doorway, his mind obviously awash with indecision. He finally turned back to face Greg, looking suitably embarrassed. "Look Greg, I feel I need to tell you the truth now, there is another reason why I feel partly responsible."

Greg raised an eyebrow, Ecklie was _definitely_ hiding something big, he had never seen him look so awkward, switching his weight from one foot to the next. "There's something you need to know Greg..."

* * *

**Flashback – Night of the abduction.**

Conrad Ecklie was sat in his office, with a mountain of paperwork to get through, all he really wanted to do was get home, perhaps run a bath and curl up with the latest novel he was reading. The lab was surprisingly quiet, the graveyard shift were all out on cases and only a few lab technicians remained. He preferred the peace and quiet like that. He finished filing a report, pausing to swallow a mouthful of coffee. He was preparing to take a bathroom break, when the lights went out before he could reach the door. He sighed and fumbled in the dark for the doorknob, about to call out when he heard the unmistakable voice of Greg Sanders yell "I'm on it!" and jog past his door at speed. Ecklie stood in the dark for a few more minutes, impatiently waiting for Sanders to come back from the mains room. He flipped the switch on and off and still the lights didn't come back. _Sanders what's taking you so long!_ he thought irately, going to open his door and bawl out the young technician to find out what the problem was. He was broken from his thoughts by what sounded like a scream, swiftly followed by a gunshot. It wasn't uncommon to hear the muffled sound of gunshots from the ballistics area, but that wasn't from ballistics and definitely wasn't muffled. "What are you doing!" was a panicked cry from a lone female before the sound of a gunshot tore through the building again. Ecklie was stunned and immediately began fumbling around in his dark office for his pager, he crouched behind his large desk and tapped out a message '_Shots fired._ _Assailant in building. Send Help'_

He didn't mind admitting he was absolutely terrified as he hid behind his desk, hearing more commotion, and sounds of a struggle followed by a desperate, terrified scream for help. _Greg Sanders. _The commotion was getting nearer and nearer, were they coming for him next? His door was wide open, so he pushed himself right under the desk. Footsteps were definitely getting closer, more than one. He watched stunned as a security guard challenged whatever scene was in front of him, the close range shot exploded in Ecklie's eardrum, before he saw the guard's body slam to the floor, almost in Ecklie's eye line. He had to put his hand over his mouth, to keep from screaming, he just prayed to god, the gunman wasn't coming for him and help would get here soon. The man who had delivered the gunshot, callously stepped over the body, dragging something with him, no correction _someone. _Ecklie watched in quiet disbelief from his hiding spot in the darkness as the gunman hauled a terrified Greg Sanders with him down the corridor. As they passed the office, Ecklie was rooted to the spot with fear, all he could do was watch helplessly as the young lab technician was brutally dragged from the building at gunpoint.

**End of flashback**

**

* * *

**

"You hid!" Greg exploded, unable to control his emotions, as he raged at the boss of the crime lab, "I was abducted and you hid?"

"It was a difficult situation Greg, I didn't know what was going on." Ecklie replied, with little convinction.

"Yeah, the shots fired might have told you, it wasn't a party Ecklie." Greg hit back sarcastically. Greg was absolutely stunned at Ecklie's callousness. "I always knew you were heartless, but you really stood by and did nothing?" He asked, appalled.

"What could I have done?", Ecklie desperately appealed to the stricken young man. "The power was cut, I had no weapon to hand!"

"Er, I don't know, something better than hiding might have been good! I always knew you thought only of yourself, I had no idea you could possibly be so weak-willed." Greg said disgusted.

"Trust me Greg, I felt awful. I did absolutely everything in my power to aid the search to find you, secured all the resources they requested, man power, everything, nobody was happier when you were rescued than me."

"Yeah I bet!" Greg said bitterly. "Eased your guilty conscience."

Greg knew it was unfair to blame Ecklie, if the tables were turned, he wouldn't have liked to bet, how he would react in that situation, though he would have liked to think he wouldn't have hid under the table!

"I'm sorry Greg, I should have done more."

"Yeah, you should, but forget it now, it's all done and dusted, and luckily for you, you don't have my death on your conscience." Greg said, deliberately turning his back on him.

Ecklie remained, standing somewhat pathetically in the room, unsure what to say. "Right, well good night." He said meekly, head bowed and hurried out.

Greg waited for the satisfying slam of the door, and brought his hands up to his face, god what a night it had been! His team hated him, Nick was barely speaking to him, and now he finds out the great Conrad Ecklie, HID while a psychopath was running rampage at their lab, he felt he should be exhausted but in reality was wide awake, probably his brain trying to process everything.

He spent another thirty minutes finishing up, then decided it was time to go, just being in the lab was making him angry all over again. He passed by Ecklie's office without a backward glance. He reached his car and soon realised he was driving without having any real idea where he was going, he wasn't ready to go home yet, he was awake and stressed, he needed to unwind. He tuned to a station playing rave music, it wasn't really his thing but it had a good beat, he found himself drumming along without really thinking, the streets were a little emptier now but there was still significant traffic around. He drove on solidly, eventually making his mind up to have a couple of drinks. He considered going to his favourite bar, but all he could think was that was where he went with Jack.

His cell rang and automatically he signalled to pull over so he could take the call, he reached for the passenger seat where his cell phone rested, flashing intrusively. His hand instead connected with jean-clad legs. He looked up and slammed on the brakes, "FUCK!" he screamed aloud.

"Keep watching your back." said Jack in the passenger seat.

Greg squeezed his eyes shut, still gripping the steering wheel. _It wasn't real, you're imagining things _he told himself firmly_ When you open your eyes, there will be nothing there. _

Slowly, he opened them again, the only thing on the passenger seat was the cell, breathing deeply he snatched it up, composing himself, he answered it.

"Hello?" He answered trying to ignore the beating of his heart, slowly returning to normal.

"Greg?" Sara Sidle's voice came through clear as a bell. "Are you okay?"

"Oh hey Sara, why wouldn't I be?" He said casually.

"I heard what happened with Nick and wanted to see if you were okay." She answered sweetly. "Do you want to talk about it?" She added.

Greg hesitated a second before he answered, "I'm fine Sara, honestly, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure Greg, good night" She said, hanging up.

There was no way Jack had been in the car, Jack was dead, it was just stress, he told himself. He definitely needed that drink.

He wound down the window, and used the fresh air to calm himself. He was starting to lose it all over again, he owed it to himself and his friends to stay in control, he had done so well to battle back from the brink like that, a lesser person would have given in and checked themselves into a clinic for the rest of their lives after surviving what he did. He had to try and view today's events in a positive light, the execution was the endgame, every last living memory that tied him to the ordeal was now executed. Ecklie's revelation was a surprising twist to the tale but he couldn 't afford to hold grudges, he had to take today as the springboard to relaunch his life, starting with repairing his broken friendship with Nick, he considered calling him but figured it was best left alone, he would apologise in person tomorrow. With a renewed sense of vigour, he decided to head for a bar to relax at the end of a long hard night, unbeknown to Greg, fate was to intervene once more and ensure it was definitely a night he would never forget.

To Be Continued..


End file.
